My new swizzle stick and bilum

My new swizzle stick has been busy stirring G&Ts. So much so that my 2L supply of Bombay Sapphire has come to a sorry end. Swizzle stick, AKA letter opener, was procured at the local Suva craft market for a small price and is dark in colour because it has been buried in mangrove mud.

Signora Bianco: “I love your new swizzle stick, but NOTHING beats the Banana Discoteque, especially when it's probably not even standing any more!”

NB: Banana Discotheque is located in Phuket, Thailand, hit by 2005 Boxing Day tsunami. It’s a relief to finally have someone realize the value of my previous swizzle stick (see 30th March blog posting for picture) which came from the discotheque.

Elena is very excited about her new litter. Does the world need so many cats? Does the world needs cats at all? And did you know that guitar strings were once made from cats’ guts? Useful piece of trivia and explanation as to why Stings is the name of my neighbour’s cat. He’s not a very handsome cat but for some reason he doesn’t seem to pick up on the fact that I don’t like him….cats never do… and they sit on my lap and purr and I feel obliged to pretend I like them (don’t read this Celeste or Moses, RIP Whiskey).

Now, for a little about my bilum (traditional PNG bag). This unique bag was hand made in Paupa New Guniea and is sure to receive a lot of attention upon my return to Australia! It already has the Suva market women gasping in admiration. Gasps which are closely followed by enquiries (“where did you get that?”). It’s a bag for a lover of art and tradition, completely handmade of natural materials. Flaws may appear in the weaving and variations in the fur, but this merely ensures that my bilum will be a one-of-a-kind item, adding to its authentic quality. My new bilum is made from durable, expanding, tightly woven, scratchy grey and brown possum fur. The weaving technique is called string looping. Although already distinctly PNG, my bilum features the PNG flag (the PNG flag was designed by a 15 year old girl in a national competition in 1971) in red, black, white and yellow cotton. The Southern Cross on my bilum is quite a random, artistic representation of what’ll you see when actually looking at the night sky’s version. The handle is strong, long-lasting and thick for a more even distribution of weight. Bilums are perfect for market shopping and carrying babies. Like a possum, the bag expands to provide room for its content. So, really, I am just a possum (as opposed to a cumquat), now that I have a little pouch for carrying things in. Though you now know it’s much more than a little pouch!!

Speaking of all things PNG… I chewed my first betel nut a couple of weeks ago. After a good chew, I was meant to feel mildly euphoric (high levels of psychoactive alkaloids - stimulating, mildly intoxicating and appetite-suppressing effects on the mind). Betel nut chewing is definitely an acquired taste and one that I don’t actually expect to obtain. The finest thing about the whole chewing scene is that when you chew betel nut along with some lime (calcium oxide… not the citrus fruit I put in my gins) at the same time it creates a bright red colour in your mouth and a superb bright red spit. I am not very good at spitting, but I had a fair crack at it. You’re meant to chew a nut for about 20 minutes and I think I lasted 5… so unfortunately no euphoria for me. Like all good mind-enhancing products, they’re carcinogins and those who regularly chew have a much higher chance of oral cancer. I am sure if the Anti-Cancer Council of Victoria looked into it, they’d declare I had a high level of carcinogenicity to humans (especially to those of the teenage, students-of-English-with-outstanding-homework variety). They’re good for your teeth (reduce cavities) but bad for your mouth and gums. In fact, so bad for your gums there’s a good chance your teeth’ll fall out altogether! So, not sure I’ll be in a hurry to get addicted to betel nuts. I am considering marketing them in Australia as the new weight-loss fad.

Speaking of marketing… I was aspiring to enter a business partnership with a couple of Israelis I met on the beach last month, importing a superior sun block cream into Australia. People make fun of me because I use SPF 30. Well, these two olive-skinned Israelis had SPF 100!!! So, I figured Australians, especially ones with white pastey complexions like mine, would love this and I was ready to go into business and retire from the whiteboard. (Enter: some smarty pants science teacher who tells me that SPF 30 was the maximum required for complete skin protection.) Doh! Back to the coal mines for me.

One last picture to refer to… I tried to explain to somebody yesterday that the bruises on my wrists were due to a lover going overboard… but sadly they knew me (and my non-existent love life) better. The truth is volleyball is a deadly contact sport. Contact between the volleyball and my wrists is simply excruciating. However, since it was I who chose to begin a staff volleyball team at work and I thought it’d be pathetic to abandon ship so soon. So, herein lies photographic evidence of volleyball being a dangerous and unforgiving sport. This shot was taken today, two days after my second training session and after much complaining, with little sympathy expressed, it was decided that training needed to occur twice weekly for a toughening up. I am saddened that I have to use my blogspot as a last-ditch attempt to extract sympathy. Anybody?
PS Must change my blog’s links from the political Fiji blogsites to something less controversial… as the military have shut down most of the sites… in particular one that was titled Resist Frank’s Coup. The shutting down of these sites occurred a week or so after an interesting forum held at University of the South Pacific on Freedom of the Press Day. The forum was financed and organized by the Australian High Commission and heated up towards the end. The military spokesperson, spin-doctor, whatever you wanna call him, was asked some pertinent questions about deaths of individuals that had occurred in military custody. A day later I was eager to see what the Fiji Times reported… a total pro-military white-wash…. Disappointing! Needless to say, after attending this forum, I’ve not been such an avid reader of the Fiji Times, which (if the forum is anything to go by) is doing copious amounts of self-censorship. It’s too reminiscent of Winston in Orwell’s Nineteen Eighty-Four… or Bad Boy Bubby: (same director as Ten Canoes. Both great movies… see them if you haven’t already) “If the poison doesn’t get you, then Jesus will”. Bad Boy Bubby does offer a final solution to the issue of cats: cling wrapping. Though, I am against animal abuse…. Apart from that one time that Julie and I killed huge quantities snails on the front lawn after a down pour of rain. The crunch sound was music to my ears…. And anything that moves at 1mm/s has it coming to it, if you ask me. Don’t even get me started on sloths!